I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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