omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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