You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
