is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
