FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
