WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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