its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
