she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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