Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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