We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
