I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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