remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
