dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
