So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
