Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
