You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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