i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just cut my nipple shaving
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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