So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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