If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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