It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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