If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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