she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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