Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
