I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
