1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
