Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
