Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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