let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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