I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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