1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
