I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize