so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
