Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
