he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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