Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
