He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
