Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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