i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
