Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize