Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize