I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
