So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
