Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
