the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
