More tranny stories later!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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