Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
