Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
