I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
