Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
