Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
