sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
