its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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