Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
