"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
