she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
