if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
