is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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