Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
