david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
