What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have already put on my inside pants.
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