im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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