the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
